Happy holidays folks! For those of you who have been hanging around my blog for any amount of time…WHY? I’m not quite sure what dark disturbed mind would hang out in this sad sorry corner of the interwebs but all I can say is that although I try to make this blog better, ummm….this is as good as its going to get I’m afraid. But I digress.
As I was saying those of you who have been coming around here for some time will realize that I am a Christmas nerd. I love the holidays and it warms even my curmudgeonly heart.
So it is my pleasure to put up the holiday theme on my blog and wish you all a safe joyous and happy holiday season, whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, the Winter Solstice, the birth of Mithras, or Festivus have a safe and happy one.
Of course this doesn’t mean that there haven’t been things going on that have given me a reason to vent or otherwise say, “REALLY?”. Some examples…
Chessloser:
My friend and the guy who inspired me to start my own blog has officially deleted his blog, bummer. Although he hadn’t posted much, I always held out hope that he’d come back in full force for the amusement of the chess blogosphere, sadly that doesn’t seem likely.
The Jersey Shore:
So this is what it has come down to huh folks? This is what passes for entertainment. A bunch of spoiled early 20 – somethings leading the most shallow meaningless hedonistic existences possible, all caught by 1000 cameras for us to see. *sigh*
Apart from being a Christmas and obviously a chess nerd I am also a huge history nerd. It occurred to me quite some time ago how much ancient and prehistory are left up for guessing and conjecture. We really don’t know what was going on in the minds of these peoples and in the case of civilizations without any writing it is really a crapshoot in trying to understand what was going on.
Since then I have had this irrational fear that some time in the far off distant future (10,000 years for example) an alien race will visit earth and the only thing that they will find intact is Graceland and old Jerry Springer episodes. I then think, “what a shame”, the aliens will not have context for these artifacts and will have to assume that we as a species were bat-shit crazy…hence our demise.
I now think it would be preferable, nay hope that they find the old Jerry Springer episodes as opposed to Jersey Shore episodes…that is how awful I find this show.
Early Christmas advertising:
As previously stated I love Christmas, but this is by far the worst I’ve seen it for advertising. The Arizona lottery actually had Christmas advertising on October 30th. SERIOUSLY!?! First of all adolescents have not come knocking on my door for free candy yet and your starting in with the Christmas advertising. Besides you are the lottery, you know nothing says spirit of Christmas as desperate last hope gambling on the lottery! I mean really folks? You think that you have a right to be included on Christmas?
Dancing with The Stars:
Ok so the title is far more catchy than “Dancing with D List Celebrities”. But either way you slice it this is just wrong. I mean look at who we are calling stars. Bristol Palin is a lovely girl but her claim to fame is that her mother was the governor of Alaska, and is a pretty powerful Republican activist/power broker. But that does not a “star” make. Don’t get me wrong I’m not jealous of D list celebrities good for them, but I think my definition of star is a bit different than most peoples’ at least from the show’s producers’ definition.
The Dong Show:
Those of you old enough will remember there used to be a “talent” show on TV called the Gong Show. It is what C list celebrities used to do between gigs they would be judges and marginally talented people (when you were lucky that is) would perform on the Gong show for a prize of $500 (I think), it was a goof, you know like America’s Got Talent that is actually aware of its’ own irony. But once again I digress
I tape episodes of The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. I think he is hysterical and love the show. I will typically try to watch them early Saturday morning after work or very early Sunday morning before going to bed. Sometimes it doesn’t work that way, I fall asleep and awake to whatever informercial happens be on the last channel the DVR was set to.
On one particular evening/morning I am piercing the veil between the dreamworld and this one, coming in an out of sleep when I hear the word “dong”. I half giggle to myself. Then I start hearing it in context of the sentence “This is wonderful dong that can be placed on a a wall…” WHAT THE HELL?!? This can’t be what I think it is. Still half sleeping I hear two women talking more about dongs, you know like they would talk about a dishwasher or other appliance…OK kids, now I’m awake, and guess what? There is actually a show with two women talking about dongs, dildos and vibrators. Now I’m not a prude, and the show was on cable at something like 3:30 in the morning but are there women out there that want self massagers/stimulators that actually don’t know that you can look this stuff up on line? I mean really hold on a second….
See I just did a google search for dong and the first two matches are sex toy shops, of course the third match is an energy company, oh and the dong is the currency of Vietnam. See if you look this shit up on line you can find what you’re looking for and learn a lot of other neat stuff in the process.
A search of vibrator yields 3 top matches to adult toy stores. Is there really a need for a dong show? I guess so, but it just seems weird.
Politics:
I am just about ready to drop out totally. The political discourse in this country is so dysfunctional that I am honestly getting to the point where I don’t care anymore. The people in charge are either clueless or don’t give a damn, and the rest of us seem to be only able to yell and scream at one another and call each other Hitler. I mean when President Bush was in office he was Hitler, now President Obama is Hitler.
For the record folks if we are going to be rude and minimalize our own discourse at least lets do it in a way that is historically accurate. President Bush would be Hitler. Being a Republican, hence right leaning he would be closer to a fascist than President Obama who by virtue of being a democrat would be leftward leaning making him more like Karl Marx.
Now I know what you’re thinking, Marx isn’t nearly as bad as Hitler, in fact I don’t think Marx was actually responsible for killing anyone. For those of you opposed to our current president and his policies wanting to make an ass out of yourself by making a wildly inaccurate comparison feel free to compare him to Stalin; Pretty much a maniac an although he didn’t start a war like Hitler he is pretty awful and 100% sure to be in Hell with Hitler.
Now if it still bothers you that your guy’s (President Bush’s) wildly absurd and inaccurate comparison is worse than President Obama’s it just goes to show you that fascism is mildly worse than Communism, but you can rest peacefully in the thought that they were both responsible for the deaths and suffering of millions of people at the hands of maniacal paranoid sociopaths. And really when you think about it, when trying to offend people who think differently than you, isn’t that what really matters?
Have a good week folks and have a safe and happy holiday season.
PS In rather sad news Leslie Nielsen passed away today. RIP Leslie and thanks for the laughs.
